The Surprising Reasons You’re Not Happy
You exercise, eat healthfully, have great friends, but you’re still not happy.
Turns out many of us aren’t happy with our lives even though we think we’re doing everything “right.”
To help us out of our rut and to find everlasting happiness, we asked happiness expert Valerie Groth (well, really she’s a social worker turned life-coach, but we’re dubbing her a happiness expert!) to share with us the things holding us back fro being happy.
7 Reasons You’re Not Happy
You stay stuck in your comfort zone.
Plan to do something every day that scares you! Spend a couple minutes at the end of every day planning what bold action you will take the next day.
Setbacks and ‘failures’ make you feel beaten down.
Based on current research, we now know that personality traits that we previously thought were ‘fixed’ – like intelligence or resilience – are actually malleable traits that can be grown over time, with practice. Adopt the growth mindset and learn and GROW from your mistakes and start to even look forward to them!
You’re making choices based on the wrong values.
We can’t see the label of our own jar, as they say. It can be tough to get an objective perspective at where you are getting stuck in your life without bringing in someone else to guide and support you. Considering working with a life coach to get crystal clear on what’s most important to you and what will make you happy!
You’re spending too much time comparing your life to others.
Take a Facebook hiatus (we did!). At the very least, take Facebook off of your phone and try to limit how many times you check social media each day. Try scheduling your social media time and during in-between times, stay away – this will help you to avoid the comparison trap and you will be exponentially more productive.
You rush through the day without time for reflection.
Adopt a daily practice that includes meditation and journaling.
You’re still hanging around with your friends from high school.
Some of us are super lucky to meet our tribe young, but for many of us we end up hanging with the same people out of habit rather than desire. Do a deep dive into your relationships and assess which friends and contacts truly add value to your life and which ones don’t. If your energy is depleted during or after spending time with someone, that’s probably a sign that you need to make some changes.
You don’t have a concrete strategy to deal with worry and negative emotions when they arise.
Just as you would plan for obstacles that may arise in your career, spend the same amount of time planning ahead so that you know how to take care of your emotional health. Be sure to have a concrete plan that includes your favorite self care strategies that you can whip out the next time you need to bounce back from a bad day!
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