When talking about spring-cleaning, most of us think about getting rid of the junk we’ve hoarded all winter long: the impulse purchases with the tags still attached, those bridesmaids dresses you tried to convince yourself (and your newly-married-bff) you’d wear again and those bulky sweaters from LL Bean you’ve had since 1994. You clothes closet, though, isn’t the only black hole in need in of a clean-out.
In the same way clutter builds up in our closest, minds and lives, it also builds up ever so pleasantly in our colons. Yup, you read that right, we’re talking about our intestines. And when the clutter – or “toxins,” if you will – build up, they too could use a clean out, with an invasive (pun intended) colonic irrigation.
The basic idea behind (haha) colon hydrotherapy is somewhat like an enema, but with much more H2O and none of the odors (thank goodness!) or discomfort (double thank goodness!). Plus, you don’t have to do it yourself (for better or worse). Instead, you lay comfortably on a table as a machine or gravity-driven pump flushes up to 20 gallons of water (and sometimes enzymes, herbs, coffee or probiotics) into the colon through a tube inserted into your…wait for it…rectum.
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For my colon clean-out (or, more properly, my colon hydrotherapy), I headed to SanaVita, a holistic cleansing center in New York City designed to bring holistic services to the mainstream. For my treatment, I was referred to Arul Hope Goldman, a woman who is serious about practicing what she preaches. After having dealt with years of serious abdominal issues herself, Arul found her cure in the form of colon hydrotherapy. These days, she is adamant that not only the body, but also the mind cannot function with all that fickle fecal matter clogging your internal pipes.
The treatment began with disrobing from the waist down and then laying down on my side, with my tush nicely covered up. Arul made sure to explain each step, and its importance, before doing anything. The first, and most uncomfortable (mentally, not physically), was the insertion of the tube.
With that taken care of, Arul began the process of slowly pumping water into my colon and then, every few minutes, doing a “release,” during which all the shizz that’s been setting up shop in my tum-tum is flushed out. For pumping water, SanaVita uses the highly-specialized and FDA-approved Dotolo machine. This particular machine, according to SanaVita, “not only provides unsurpassed sterility but makes the experience what is should be: comfortable and pleasant. Water pressure, temperature, and volume are carefully controlled and adjusted according to individual preference.” Arul kindly let me know each time before we did a release and made sure that if at any time the pressure was too much, we could take it down a notch.
But, you know me, if I’m doing something, I’m going full force. So, full force fecal annihilation is was.
After a few minutes, Arul asked me to lie on my back and, as she continued the pumping and releasing, she gently massaged my tummy to help break up the tougher bits. The whole process took about 30 minutes and, when I was finished, Arul instructed me to use the loo, which is the last release of the colonic.
When I met Arul in the waiting area, she offered me a shot of Blue Print green juice and a magnesium supplement, which may have been my favorite part of the whole process. (Heck, I’m such a sucker for BP’s green juice that I asked for more.)
In the days following, I can’t honestly say I felt much of a difference. But, then again, I’m a pretty regular releaser (I’m sure you’re all really happy to know that fact about me now) so colonics may not be a necessary part of my spring (or any other season) cleaning.
That being said, I highly recommend trying it for anyone curious about the treatment or if you’re interested in holistic treatment for any constipation-related issues. I even more highly recommend seeing Arul. She not only knows her stuff, but she also happens to have an incredibly warm and calming energy. And, if you’re a regular reader of my columns, you know how much I appreciate calming energy!