By Thomas Edwards, Founder of The Professional Wingman
There are women who believe they have the “mystery” that are men covered. After all, don’t men just think about sex, sports, video games, food … and more sex?!
Believe it or not, guys think about women in ways that don’t always involve the bedroom. Having coached hundreds of men during the courtship process (and dozens of women), below are five truths about the way men think.
What Men Want, Think & Mean
1. When it comes to makeup, less is ALWAYS more. Men love seeing what you truly look like — especially in the morning. In fact, today, men see large amounts of makeup as a sign of insecurity, vanity and high-maintenance.
And the ironic thing is guys think you look hottest in running shoes and your workout outfit — the time you think you look the least put together. It should explain why guys approach you when you’re wearing your sweatpants and flip flops on your “I don’t care what I look like” day.
2. Although men care about physical beauty, what really matters is inner-beauty. If you are ugly on the inside, no amount of lipgloss can detract from it. Superficial beauty may catch men’s eyes, but natural beauty keeps it.
3. Approaching takes courage. To encourage a quality man to talk to you, it helps to give non-verbal signals that it’s okay to say hello. I teach my female clients to do the “patented” two-look strategy: when you make eye contact with him, smile and look away. And after a couple seconds, look back to see if you can do it again. After two positive signs, he should be over introducing himself.
This tactic is something you can use anywhere — not just the bar. Keep in mind that in those first few minutes of seeing, meeting and talking with you, guys are nervous. And if you’re nervous too, that’s okay! In fact, some men find it completely adorable. So let them know it’s okay for them to have nerves, and if you’re interested, give non-verbal cues such as smiling, physical flirting and getting closer to them.
4. When guys put in effort to make you happy, it always comes with the best intentions. But sometimes, they will fail. Give guys the benefit of the doubt, and if you want something in particular to happen, give them a hint — or tell him outright. Expecting him to just figure it out on his own can set you up for failed expectations.
Encourage him by dropping a few hints and eventually he’ll understand what he needs to do. This could mean gift-giving, surprises, how you communicate day-to-day or even bedroom activities.
5. Men crave physical touch but it doesn’t always have to lead to sex. Proximity is something we need as humans to feel connected. Even though some say men think about sex every nine seconds (not true), they’d still like to hug you and hold your hand. Although, if it leads to sex, men certainly won’t complain…
While men can be notorious for prioritizing their libido, sex doesn’t solve the “mystery” that is man. If it was that easy, a trip to a hedonist resort would suffice. But, just like you, men want more.