Do You Compare + Despair? Meet Your Match!

By Alexis Meads

“There will always be people who have it better than you, and people who have it worse-off than you. There will always be girls prettier and girls less attractive than you.”

Or at least that’s what my mom always says.

Whether this is good advice or not, however, I have yet to decide.

But it does drive home one important point: comparison is futile.

I don’t know when the idea of comparison came into our awareness, but I assume it was around the time we were children and we began to have an idea that others were separate, and that we were all judged for things external to us.

How well we did in school.

How nice our clothes were.

How pretty we are.

If we followed the rules.

And as we get older… 

The money in our bank accounts.

The kind of car we drive.

Our relationship status.

How “cool” we are.

How close we get to achieving grossly unattainable standards of beauty.

The list goes on and on… but one thing is constant: we never feel good enough.

And, well, this sucks.

At one point, a long time ago, I absolutely loved myself and had no standard of comparison other than how happy I felt on a given day. And usually that was very happy.

Now I notice when others are judging me. I find myself occasionally judging others. I judge myself.

It might make us feel temporarily better when we consciously or unconsciously put someone down, but this is just a trick we play with ourselves in an attempt to at least pretend we love ourselves more.

But it does more harm than good.

Instead of pulling others down to make yourself feel higher up, realize that just being you is perfect in itself.

You were born with unique talents, looks and abilities and that make you beautiful, whole and complete.

You do not need to measure up to anyone else’s standards and you do not need to put anyone else on your own measuring stick.

When you see someone who has more success than you or something else you want, think, “Good for them. I may not be there yet but I know that I’m on my way.”

This positive thinking will not only put you in better standing with that person, but will also draw towards you that which you wish to attract.

Think things like, “I hate that girl. She only got that promotion because she knows how to play the game.”

And you’ll be on a one-way track to negative-nancy-spinsterville.

So make a commitment to yourself to drop the comparison once and for all and use this self-love mantra instead:

I love and accept myself exactly as I am. 

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence; it’s greener where you water it with love!