Sex, Self Esteem & The Goddess (It’s You!)
We’ve all had those moments where our minds go on a scary adventure to fear. It’s this fear mind that says things like, “you can’t do that,” “who do you think you are?” “ewww, gross you have cellulite on your ass when you move like that in bed.” It’s your personal (and most unwelcomed) mind bully
Many of us are (relatively) comfortable talking about our fear mind when it comes to our relationships and careers, but when it comes to sex, we may as well be puritans living in the 1800s. Funky feelings arise and suddenly even Harvard scientists, become like 5th grade students: uncomfortable and anxious.
But it’s time to change that.
Sex may sell, but what are we selling when the focus is on the vulgar instead of the sacred?
Sex doesn’t have to be dirty – unless you want it to be, of course! Accepting all of our sexual selves as beautiful and as something to be explored allows us to connect with our sexual selves without getting our panties in a bunch over the crazy (virginal vs. slutty) mixed messages we receive.
Have you ever felt embarrassed before having sex or during sex? These anxieties are normal and, once processed, can become a key to unlocking the door to true intimacy, pleasure and security.
Shame arises from the guilt we feel when we think we are doing something wrong, when we feel insecure in our own bodies or when we lack the knowledge required or permission necessary to understand that it’s okay, it’s beautiful and it’s sacred to explore your entire sexual self. So how can we shift from shame to sex?
The Goddess Cures…
Take time to explore your desires and intentions. Set aside some Goddess Time in the morning – even if it’s just 3 minutes – to be one with yourself. Try closing your eyes and just setting your intention for the day and breathing, being in stillness for a moment.
Learn about (your) sacred sexuality. Become conscious of your own sexual self. Recognize your insecurities, acknowledge your fantasies and become a curious explorer of your own sexuality. Read about sacred sexuality, study tantra or just explore your own body.
Create a pre-sex ritual. Before you have sex (either with yourself or your partner), light some candles, ignite some incense, turn on some music and remember to breathe and take it slow.