9 Tips To Help You Get Over A Breakup
We’ve all be there: the breakup so rough you can barely brush your teeth, let alone be a contributing member of society.
While it’s completely normal to have those “I’m never going to find love again” feelings (don’t worry, they’ll pass and you will!), it doesn’t have to be that way.
Tamsen Fadal knows. From experience.
After a public breakup, the gorgeous (inside and out!) news anchor has a new book, The New Single, laying out a realistic and proven game plan to help you find, fix, and fall back in love with yourself after a breakup or divorce.
Here, she shares with TheBeautyBean her top 9 tips for emerging from a breakup with confidence, grace, and the tools you need to avoid repeating patterns in future relationships – all, of course, so you can be your best self.
9 Steps To Surviving A Breakup
Learn Who You Are Now. The dating scene changes all the time – and so do you. Get clear with who you are and what you’re interested in after a breakup – and do those things. Maybe bowling is your thing—so go bowling! Or go to an art exhibit, the theater, whatever—but make sure you’re being true to yourself.
Your Ideal Man Might Not Be Your “Perfect” Man. We all have a list of the characteristics we dream about in our “perfect” partner; and the deal breakers. Those “perfect” qualities don’t always add up to Mr. Right. Look instead for someone who makes you a better person, someone who makes you want to get up in the morning and say hello, or jump into bed at night to cuddle. Most of all look for someone who respects you RIGHT NOW, not who will love you when you land a more fabulous job or when you become the person who you want to be in the future.
Value Your Values. Know yourself and what’s important to you. Know the person you are and the person you want to be in a new relationship.
Stay You—Stay Me. If you need to change yourself in order to make a relationship work, then he’s not the right guy for you. You are who you are and you cannot change that for anyone. Stay you. Not him.
Pamper. It is critical for you to fall back in love with yourself after a breakup. We often take care of anyone and everyone else in order to avoid ourselves. Book a massage, organize your closet, or replace your bathroom products with healthier alternatives. These things sound simple and perhaps even silly, but they help! During a time when you don’t feel attractive inside or out, they gave a little boost in self-confidence.
Move! Exercise is just as important mentally as it is physically.
Go Green. Eating right, concentrating on whole, unprocessed, or minimally processed foods gives your the energy to deal with life’s stresses. It is a lifestyle–not a diet or a temporary part of my life. It is like breathing. Do it naturally because you know it’s right for you.
Home Is Where the Heart Is and Where It Heals. After a breakup, when you’re not sure who you are, where you’re going, or what to do next, your home suddenly becomes very important both as a refuge and as a symbol of my new beginning. Declutter the things that are mentally and emotionally blocking you and put a fresh coat of self-love (sometimes in the form of pain!) into life.
Sexy Self-Talk. Everything starts from within, even, maybe especially, physical beauty. If you don’t have internal peace and happiness and come from a good place, your inner discontent will always come to the surface. Take control of negative self-talk by composing a list of positive affirmations.
Remember that before you love yourself, you must like yourself. It is essential, just like it is when it comes to finding a relationship.
For more from Tamsen, check out her book here.