Take Back Your Self Worth: My Journey To “Beautiful”

Join Me On The Road To Beauty + Self Worth

By Teirra Kamolvattanavith

Having grown up in a society that is extremely critical about appearances, I’ve always struggled to find beauty in my own reflection.

As a child, I was so used to idolizing Barbie dolls and Disney Princess that I couldn’t help but strive to be one of them. I would frolic around in fluffy princess tutus, bedazzled plastic tiaras, and dramatic fairy wings because of this impossible standard of beauty that was already instilled within me.

Though I eventually grew out of dolls and fairy tales, I didn’t grow out of this mentality.

Flawless models and glamorous celebrities now replaced cartoons and once again I found myself trying to replicate them so I, too, can be “beautiful.”

It took me a long time to understand what beauty truly means.

After a long battle against the nasty consequences that comes with seeking happiness outside myself, I realized that I am the only person who can determine my own self worth and happiness. It is unrealistic and unsustainable to rely on other people’s approval because here’s the thing: everyone has an a**hole and everyone has an opinion (shout out to my old acting teacher for pounding that in my head).

For far too long I was a slave to expectation, which made me miserable and disruptive. I did everything to please other people. Waking up every morning sucked because I voluntarily sacrificed my physical and mental health in hopes of becoming “beautiful.” I didn’t even know what that word meant- I merely followed what mass media told me to look up to. I hated it.

I can’t be the only one who feels this way. In fact, I KNOW I’m not.

Most people I’ve talked to also feel oppressed and pressured by these absurd standards. But in this day and age, mainstream media has the power to silence our words no matter how violently we’re screaming on the inside.

This ends today.

I refuse to surrender to this oppression.

I wish I could give my young self a mirror and teach little me to find the beauty not only in my own reflection, but beyond. I would tell her to cherish everything that makes me unique no matter what everyone else thought. Though it’s too late for that (or too early to time travel) last year I’ve made it my mission to live with the most utmost self love and respect.

Ladies, we have the power to support one another, unite, and show the world the beauty we are born with.

There is more to us than meets the eye. We are more than our dress size and blemishes; we are intricate, real and imperfect. This is what makes us human and, as I’ve come to learn, this is what makes us beautiful.

Let’s make a pact to love ourselves a little bit more everyday to overpower that voice that tells us we’re not good enough.

We have a responsibility to take of ourselves because we can’t make everyone happy so we should stop trying. In the end, you’re the only person you can’t break up with. We all deserve to be loved not despite everything that we’re not but for everything that we are.

Your self worth is yours alone and don’t let anyone, or anything, tell you other wise.

 

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