Do You Feel Like Shit Standing Next To Your “Skinny Friends”?

By Isabel Foxen Duke

Many women who struggle with “feeling fat” or negative body image fall victim to the problem of “compare and despair,” more often than they’d like to admit.   

COMPARE AND DESPAIR: The phenomenon of feeling worse about yourself in comparison to another, when in a vacuum you may feel just fine (or at least less bad). 

Many of us become hyper self-conscious about our bodies when we’re around women who we feel have something we don’t: women who have “perfect” bodies or who are simply thinner than we are.

But the thing is…

Gisele Bundchen having an awesome body, doesn’t make yours any less awesome.

You can believe you have an awesome body, and still think your thinner best friend has one two.

The idea that one body has to be “bad” in order for a different body to be “good” is rooted in scarcity mentality: the idea that there isn’t enough room for two different body types to simultaneously be awesome.  

There is enough room. There’s enough room for 350 million different body types to all be awesome, just in the US alone!  

Being okay standing next to someone who you think has a “better” figure than you is about shifting your mindset from comparison and competition, to one of celebrating diversity.

Stop ranking and start loving!

Tell your thin, stronger, curvier, taller, shorter, and every other friend she looks awesome! And remind yourself that you look awesome too. 

At the end of the day, you’re on the same team. You each bring something valuable to the table. The culture of ranking women is ultimately a sexist one, designed to pit us up against each other and keep us down, rather than support each other and bring each other up. Don’t fall prey to it.

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