Want to get “bikini ready” by this weekend so you can srut your stuff confidently on the beach with all eyes peering your way?

(Which, FYI, every magazine and blog – except The Beauty Bean, of course – seems to think is all anyone thinks about between January 1st and, uh, Labor Day (damn those are a long 9 months!) – because, ya know, we don’t have anything to think about other than the importance of our looks and nothing else to do other than ponder and act on the overwhelming amount of unrealistic body ideals thrown our way in this airbrushed world of ours – and, yes, no matter how unattainable these standards of beauty are, we will work to attain said unattainable standards in a way that can only be described as inane – well, if you agree that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result and, newsflash: unattainable beauty ideals are, by definition, unattainable. Ok. Rant. Over.)

Well, before you juice-cleanse and obsessively exercise your way into a depressed state of bikini prep, read this. Then reconsider the process by which you’re going to get ready to strip down and bare all.

We have.

bikini body

via upworthy

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