Is Your Pubic Hair Wrong?

Pubic Hair: Why Every Option is Totally Awesome

By Anna Maiden

Pubic hair is disgusting. It’s dirty, gross and, frankly, embarrassing. I cannot believe you wore that bikini without getting a Brazilian first. Eugh.

But how dare you laser your genitals and become a slave to the over-sexualized patriarchal standard through this act of supreme vanity and self hate, you slut?

Either of these you?

Or what about this: You’re a self respecting singleton, you like short skirts and manicures, work in an office, wear leopard print thongs and go to church….what the heck kind of thing are you supposed to do with your pubes now?

The media, online discounts, and your well-meaning mother all conspire to make bristle banishment a total nightmare. What’s a well bred lady to do?  

It’s funny how inspiring your Mound of Venus can be to the political opinions and commercial ventures of the world. So much public interest for such a seemingly private (and moreover, personal) issue.

You’d think for a part of our bodies women are conditioned to hide and feel so much shame over, we’d at least be given a wide berth. Sure, do whatever you want, as long as it’s over there in that dark corner where we can’t see you.

But no.

It’s a tightwire.

You have to adhere to the public standard (whatever that is) while also keeping yourself hidden, while also keeping up appearances, while also keeping our dignity, while also being desirable, while also being chaste and virtuous in our habits (and for goodness sake, don’t forget sexy)…

It’s that age old trouble: spend too much time grooming, and you’re a self-indulgent home wrecker and wannabe porn star. Neglect your womanly duties, and you’re has-been hag with scabies.

There’s no winning.

So I ask again: what’s a lady to do?

There is but one shiny answer: find what feels good for you.

I’ve seen a lot of vulvas in my day. As a former laser hair-removal technician, intimate follicular obliteration used to be part of my daily.

Truth is, the finer female anatomy comes in every shape, size and particular.

Truer still, is that every pubic preference is 100% valid. Not a single set of labia I’ve ever seen has done anything wrong.

It’s OK to want to remove your pubic hair because you simply want to. Or leave it. Or dye it, for that matter. You choose your blouse, your nail color, and how many bangles to put on – why not choose your pubes?

Having a preference about body hair is not anti feminist. It’s not obnoxiously left wing or repressive. It’s just personal. Like your favorite ice cream and that awful rom-com you adore.

It’s a choice. A simple pleasure and privilege to choose.

Having a great big springy bush is perfect. It’s just as holy as a spartan landing strip. Or a bikini wax.

Your yoga chants aren’t more sacred if you abstain from pubic hair preening. You’re not a husband-swiping-sex-kitten if you’ve had your vulva professionally singed.    

All you have to do? Own it. You don’t have to tell your grandma about it, but get cozy with who you are, what you want, and how your body makes you feel. Make a choice that makes you expand.

Not sure? Try this:

Take your jeans off and have a look. Take your undies off and have an even longer look. Stare long and hard at your own genitals. Get scared. Freak out. Feel weird.

Get absolutely acquainted with the delicate folds of skin and dark brown tufts of fluff. They’re yours! Know them, love them, own them.

Shave all your pubic hair off and see how you feel. Learn something about yourself, your body, your long held beliefs about should and shouldn’t.

Or let it grown out after years of sugaring at the salon. Explore your feelings. Enjoy the abundance of it peeking out the sides of your pink lace panties.

Find what feels good. Own it.

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