Andrea Owen is one of my favorite life-coach / guru / female empowerment badasses on the planet.
She’s one of those women who makes herself super vulnerable in her blog posts, so every time she writes something you’re like “that’s me,” and want to know what she did to fix whatever problem she’s talking about.
Just got dumped?
Hate your job?
Obsessed with food?
She’s kind of a go-to for all-things “girl problem,” and her new book, 52 Ways To Live A Kick-Ass Life, covers all the basics.
Via interview I thought I’d get her take on the “problems” I’m most frequently asked to comment on as a coach myself: boy problems, work problems, and body problems.
Here’s the Q&A:
IFD: In several chapters of your book you talk about “letting go” of relationships that don’t work for you — whether that be a dysfunctional relationship, or simply “getting over and Ex;” What do you think is the most important thing for women to remember when trying to “move on” in relationships?
AO: Often times in relationships that aren’t right for us, BOTH leaving and staying feels pretty shitty, making decision making that much more difficult. It’s really an opportunity for us to use our intuition to tell us “what’s right,” when both options feel “wrong” in some way or another. Also, when we’ve made the decision to leave, or know that leaving is “the right thing to do,” we often have to remind ourselves “I love me more than I love him.” If the relationship really isn’t right for you, you’ll always be reminded why if you DO stay. Sometimes we need those reminders, “You’re the only one who really knows when enough is enough.” You need to be ready to let go.
IFD: What was the most helpful advice anyone’s ever given you getting over PBI (Poor Body Image)?
AO: It’s always a work in progress. Body Image work takes time, and there are lots of ups and downs a long the way. When we think to ourselves “there’s a place I need to get to and if I’m not there, or can’t stay there, I’m doing wrong” we set ourselves up for even more self-judgement. Being prepare to make peace a little bit at a time is huge. Also, gratitude is a big deal — remembering what our body does for us each day. I talk about this more in my book, but for now my last bit of advice on that topic is be careful about who you spend your time with. Poor body image in contagious.
IFD: Fear of failure (as your book discusses) is clearly the big issue standing between women and “going for it” in their careers. How do you get women through that?
AO: While I totally agree fear of failure is a big part of “getting stuck,” fear of success is also a huge part of it. So many women hold themselves back so they don’t give themselves something to lose. It comes down to being fear of vulnerable. “Will I be able to keep it up?” is a scary question. It’s scary to be successful! Especially when we suffer from “imposter syndrome,” where we feel we don’t deserve the validation we may be receiving from others. When it comes to my business I try to stay grounded with the Rule of Thirds— I expect that 1/3 of the people I expose myself to will totally disagree with me; 1/3 will be indifferent to me; and 1/3 will think I’m amazing. The last 1/3 are the people I try to focus on.
Andrea’s new book, 52 Ways to Live a Kick-Ass Life, goes into way more depth on all of these topics, as well as so many other common areas women get tripped up in work, in life, in general. It’s also a super easy read. I read the entire book in a night, and I read it totally out of order — starting the the chapters I felt were most relevant to me on that particular day. I highly recommend reading the book with the question “what do I need today?” in mind. Lord knows “what we need” will change on a day-to-day basis, and I’m big believer in having solid references for moments when we need to get shaken back to what’s true. You can check it out on Amazon here.